Saturday, September 22, 2012

Don't let the Ghosts of the past become a reality!

The continuation of a thread on elder care and the Sutton’s new season of life changes…

Hindsight is always 20/20 and filled with lots of regrets for missed moments.  We didn’t see the warning signs when my hubby’s mom began the spiraling down road of dementia.  We didn’t think to document our family history or to unearth the piles of photos of his past family who have now become ghost of my husband’s family history.  

All these challenges have really come to fruition for our family as we have waded through 60 years of history left in my mother in law’s home.  Little did we know of all the small trinkets, letters to home and family that were hidden in the crevices of her home.  We all pass the pictures around to different siblings trying to figure out who they are; who was this letter referring too?  It is as if a hole that we didn’t know existed has now been revealed only to make the loss of our dear Granny’s mind more poignant.

So what should have been done with our perfect hindsight of 20/20?  We wish we had used modern technology and videoed a question/answer session.  The moment is too late for my hubby’s mom who we affectionately call Granny; but with my mom we seized the moment though a little late. 

I would encourage you to have a family gathering if not a reunion with all the grandkids around.  Tell all to think of questions they always wanted to know and have them ready to ask grandma…or granddad…or whichever elder person you want to document your family heritage.  

We accidentally did this with my mom, when we had a surprise 80th birthday party for her.  As the festivities died down, the adults, including several of the grandkids, gravitated to my living room.   Grandma reminisced about a story of her past which prompted someone to ask how grandma & granddad met.  This turned into a springboard of questions asked about our heritage.  Though my sister and I heard had heard many of the stories there were many new tales that surprised us.  It made me so glad that we had captured the moment.   My admonition to all?  Don’t let the business of life let you lose your heritage.

Lest I bring despair and sadness to those whose parents have passed on or other circumstances have caused this not to be a possibility, there is a future coming in heaven where all our questions and curiosities will be answered.  A relationship with Jesus, is the key to the door.  If you want to learn more about how to have a relationship with Jesus, call or email me.

A side note to the family picture we found....we knew this picture was a pic of my husband's dad and uncle.  My daughter used her photography talent to fix the pic.  What a blessing to have a great pic from the past with the knowledge of who it was!

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