Wednesday, May 9, 2012

Words and the power behind them! Part II

“Have you ever hugged someone and ended up wearing her perfume?  We will leave a fragrance, so to speak, by the words we speak.” The Power of a Woman’s Word by Sharon Jaynes.

When I read this statement, it really hit home how my words/our words really do affect others around us.  How many times I have hugged a dear friend or my grandma and come away with their perfume scent.  The aroma scent would bring fond memories of the previous encounter.  Then, I thought about how my words  the good, the bad and the ugly words that would sink into the hearts of those they had touched sometimes not hours but perhaps years later.  How devastating our bad and ugly words can/could become to those we speak and how uplifting for years to come those good words would grow.

With this thought, I bring yet another area to think about using our words to sow/plant words of healing, grace to those around us.  Since Mother’s Day is around the corner, let me tackle words for the children in our lives.  Notice, I said the children in our lives?  This means the grandchildren, the nieces, nephews, the little people we encounter.  We can impact them all with simple words.  In fact, this book, The Power of a Woman’s Words, challenge me as Sharon Jaynes shared numerous examples of children’s lives touched by a school teacher words spoken into their lives.

Sharon Jaynes shares, "Our words do more than just make our children feel good.  Our words can make them feel like somebody who can accomplish great dreams or like a nobody who is destined to be a loser....The pain from constant criticism and correction can become a chronic source of insecurity long after the child has become an adult.  It is our job, our 'homework,' to instruct our children, but when we are continually pointing out their faults and failures, they tend to simply stop trying....  Oh friend, we should never be stingy when it comes to speaking good words to children, but rather sow them profusely.  Scatter compliments!  Plant affirmations! Sow courage! Water with kindness! Fertilize with prayer!"

Jaynes gave several suggestions on positive ways to give this affirmation and encouraging words.  I think many revert to flattery which is NOT what this is about.  Flattery in the long run destroys and really those who you are flattering see it as empty words.  The best thing I have found to encourage my kids has come in the form of surprises.  Leaving notes on their pillow, sending a note in their lunch; sending a text just to say 'I luv u'; telling them what they did right about a job that they did mostly wrong. :)  

This poem really says it all:

Tale of Two Households
Author Unknown

"I got two 'A's," the small boy said.
His voice was filled with glee.
His father very bluntly asked,
"Why didn't you get three?"

"Mom, I've got the dishes done,"
The girl called from the door.
Her mother very calmly said,
"Did you sweep the floor?"

"I mowed the grass," the tall boy said,
"And put the mower away."
His father asked him with a shrug,
"Did you clean off the clay?"

The children in the house next door
Seemed happy and content.
The same things happened over there,
But this is how it went.

"I got two A's," the small boy said.
His voice filled with glee.
His father proudly said, "That's great;
I'm glad you belong to me."

"Mom, I got the dishes done,"
The girl called from the door.
Her mother smiled and softly said,
"Each day I love you more."

"I've mowed the grass," the tall boy said.
"And put the mower away."
His father answered with much joy,
"You've made my happy day!"

Children deserve just simple praise
For the tasks they're asked to do.
If they're to lead a happy life,
So much depends on you!


  1. Oh so true. I was raised by the first parents and have a lifetime of issues. My self esteem is none existent. No self confidence. Been in therapy for years trying to overcome all the negativity in my life.

  2. So sorry for the pain. Words are a powerful tool that reach far into the recesses of our lives. I pray for the balm of Jesus to soothe those wounds in your heart dear friend. Thanks for sharing and opening your heart.