Wednesday, December 30, 2009

My Home School Ebenezer

I think every home schooling mom comes to the point of pulling her hair out and wondering 'why am I doing this when I could have the day to myself?'...only one day in the lifetime of home schooling or more like a daily routine thought pattern. lol

I had come to a really low point 9 years ago. I remember that afternoon oh so well. I sat there holding our baby watching guard to make sure the other two toddlers would lay down for their afternoon naps. I used that opportunity to tell God that I quit. My second son was graduating from his home school high school years and I was holding our baby in my arms. I suddenly got this horrible thought that I had been home schooling for the past 16 years and still would have 16 more to go! Thirty-two years of my life will have been filled with teaching my kiddos phonics drills, impossible algebra equations that hurt my brain and so much more scholastic exercises that I was sure my failing mind couldn't handle.

I told God I was through with home schooling and for that matter was tired of the lot in life that I seemed to be dished out with so many responsibilities. I was not exactly the sober women that God would call us to be nor did I really care. God in a still voice told me that I had not spent time with Him that day and I should use this opportunity to read my Bible. I defiantly picked up my Reader's Digest just to 'show Him.'

God who has used even a donkey to get stubborn Balaam to listen used my Reader's Digest to get a hold of my heart. I was reading an article which was interviewing an author. He was also a screenplay writer and had written several notable screenplays. The author was asked the question, "What do you like about being the author of a book?" His reply, "For the first time, people know who I am as the author. However, the most significant accomplishment is the characters in my book. When writing for screenplays, the actors would always change the lines and how I wanted them to be portrayed. In my book, the characters can't change what I want them to be...."

At that point, God quietly quoted to my mind, "Paula, I am the author and perfector of your faith.... (Hebrews 12:1,2) I am the author.....I am the author...I want to be known, not you. I want you to be the character that I created you to be in the story book that I am writing about you which will reflect Me." By now, my toddlers are all asleep and I am in a pool of tears as I realized that I needed to get back on the easel and let God have His way with my life.

My 'Ebenezer' was to resign myself to 16 more years of home schooling and to allow God to write His book for my life. Really it is all about Him and not me. I thanked God that day that He even can work with a Reader's Digest to get my stubborn heart back in line.

Let me encourage you as you begin this new decade to let God continue to write your story book of life. What a great book we are going to see unfold when we read the last chapter!

"So God, can we begin a new chapter or at least turn the page?"..... :)

No comments:

Post a Comment